at least not for us. there is no new or better life our life together is over -don't ask please. it's 11:26 on a tuesday evening. i am wide awake. i would rather be...a lot of places. asleep is one of them. i'm back here. for a reason. :) lol my heart is hurting. and i'm scared it might let it's secrets out without me wanting it to. i miss john. corey has intensified that lately. today at lunch while he was talking i thought "i wonder what john is doing" i didn't tell sarah. i'm afraid she doesn't understand. for god's sake i don't even understand i'm so flawed.

I am dying.... that is all xoxo ej

Sheba!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!